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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29543190">Pearl the Self Fighter</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DWEmma/pseuds/DWEmma'>DWEmma</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Steven Universe (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Collection: Purimgifts Day 1, Episode: s01e16 Steven the Sword Fighter, Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:33:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,085</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29543190</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DWEmma/pseuds/DWEmma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Why did Pearl stay inside her Gem for so long during "Steven the Sword Fighter"?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Purimgifts 2021</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Pearl the Self Fighter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesometimeswarrior/gifts">thesometimeswarrior</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Aww, can you show me something cool? Like the Boomerang Blade!” Steven whined, not at all getting the importance, and, frankly, excitingness of proper form and technique. </p><p>“Steven, you know that's not a real sword technique,” Pearl lamented, deeply saddened that Steven wasn’t as excited about actual sword fighting as he was those ridiculous movies. </p><p>And then he began chanting! “Boomerang Blade! Boomerang Blade! Boomerang Blade!”</p><p>This distracted her. “Steven, these are real sword techniques. Not those silly things from your movies. It's about waiting carefully for the perfect moment to str-” </p><p>She felt the blade go through her body. She was so shocked she felt like she was in stasis for a moment before she felt her energy retreating into her gem, trickling away from her limbs and torso up into her head as a rush of warmth upward, leaving everything else so cold. She didn’t have those words before Steven: hot and cold. But this was how she understood his silly human body’s reactions to temperature changes. She knew what it felt like when her energy pulled within her gem. </p><p>She dropped her sword, hearing it clang to the practice arena floor.</p><p>She heard Steven cry out “...Pearl?” </p><p>She realized they’d never had “the talk.” The talk about how gems have to be shattered to die. In the last twelve years only Amethyst had reformed, and she always did so in such little time that they didn’t need to tell Steven she was gone. But how was she so negligent that she never informed him...she had to make this better. He probably thought she was dying. </p><p>“W-whoopsie-daisy! Steven, it's okay. I'm gonna be just f-” And she felt herself drain completely into her pearl. </p><p>“Fine,” she finished within herself, not as much finishing her sentence as excepting her fate. </p><p>Right. Well, this hadn’t happened in a while. It’s always good to refresh the cells, reform the body, take a moment away. Rest, concentrate, meditate, and reform as a better and stronger Gem. When Rose was first training her to be more than a Pearl, to be a warrior, this had happened frequently. Rose told her it was a good thing. Pearls weren’t usually put in fighting positions: it’s not what they were made for. So in all the years she was Pink’s Pearl, she had only reformed a handful of times, and each time was deeply embarrassing. But when Pink became Rose she taught her to treasure the time. It’s something Amethyst never really understood, which was why she came back so quickly. To savor the time and come back a better version of herself. </p><p>But Steven. She really should have warned him about the potential for this. He must have thought...he must be thinking...they really needed to sit down and talk through what talk is the job of which surrogate mother. Because honestly Garnet, with her level headedness and tenancy to be calm in stressful situations rather than talking talking talking talking talking...what had she been thinking about? Oh, right, Garnet really should have taken the lead there and told him the facts of Gem life. It wasn’t her fault Garnet didn’t have that conversation with him. Or maybe she had, and Pearl didn’t even know about it. Right, of course Garnet had told him. He just looked incredibly horrified like she was dying in front of him because humans aren’t used to how Gem bodies work. </p><p>But no, no, he was crying. He thought she was dying. He hadn’t been told.</p><p>Ultimately this was all Rose’s fault, of course, for leaving them with her child, for having a child knowing that she would cease to be and that they’d have to go on without her. That she’d have to go on without her. Yes, it was Rose’s fault. </p><p>But what did fault matter when Steven was upset, and she was the one to upset him? </p><p>“Steven,” she should have said, “Steven, Gem bodies are different than human bodies. If we’re damaged beyond the point of repair, our life force pulls into our Gems, and we retreat to reform. It’s not that big a deal.” What age should she have done that at? Not 4 or 5 of course, but probably before 12. </p><p>How long had she been gone for? Oh, it would be impossible to reform if she didn’t calm down a concentrate. And the longer she was gone, the more worried he would be, and the messier the house would get because you know that Amethyst and Garnet would help Steven tidy up, and Steven, well he was a child…</p><p>Yes, he was a child! Far too young to learn about any of this. If only she hadn’t let him distract her with his asinine chanting and hadn’t been stabbed through, he wouldn’t have had to learn about any of this. Was it her fault? It must be. </p><p>She should really meditate and refocus her energy on reforming though so she could get back to Steven. And apologize to him for traumatizing him forever. It really was her fault, wasn’t it? </p><p>This was the circle her mind wandered in the entire time she was gone. Guilt kept her from being able to reform, even though guilt was why she wanted to reform quickly. She never really got herself to focus. She reformed in spits and starts, between bursts of agonizing self-flagellating self-scolding. </p><p>When she finally felt herself leave her gem, it was like a valve of all the guilt had been released. It was also shocking, since she made such slow progress, she only had a few minutes worth of focus when it finally worked. “Ah... That's much better,” she said. And then she saw Steven running to her. She remained cool and calm. Cool and calm to not upset him. “Oof, hey, miss me much?”</p><p>“Ah man, I had this whole thing planned out for when you came back!” And he ran off. See, he was fine. </p><p>Then she saw the state of the house. Had there been a fight? “Uh, Steven. What happened to your room?”</p><p>After all the chanting, after Amethyst was deflated, Steven confessed that he had been spending time with the HoloPearl and it was she who destroyed the house. </p><p>Pearl briefly considered if she should change the HoloPearl to be less potentially lethal, but ultimately decided that a sparring partner who didn’t take the spar seriously wouldn’t be very good to train with. She was sure it would be fine.</p><p>
  
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